I was at Lin-Manuel Miranda’s new play, in previews. It was somewhat interactive, and at some point I had to answer a question, as an audience member. Lin-Manuel asked me what his character’s name was, and if I remember correctly it was Lin-Manuel Sanchez-Lopez. Something like that. I was really nervous, but I got it right.
Then they messed something up, and got interrupted, and had to start again, and they didn’t start in the right place and missed a crucial piece of exposition so the next song didn’t make any sense. And my dad got up and told Lin-Manuel that songs 5 and 16 really needed a lot of work. I was mortified.
At the end of the play, Lin-Manuel announced that since they had so many problems at this performance, they would give free tickets to some of us, but they couldn’t give free tickets to everyone, so we should check with the House Manager and if we were one of the first 2,000 subscribers, we could get a free ticket to another performance.
But I couldn’t find my socks, so I spent a lot of time looking under seats to see where they were. It was winter, and they were soggy, and I had switched seats a few times during the performance so I had to look under a lot of chairs.
Then I was at the Westside Theater after Darren Criss’s performance of White Rabbit, Red Rabbit, hoping we could get an autograph for the Kid. From inside the theater, we hear Darren telling the folks who knew someone and got inside to see him after the performance to line up on one side if they want an autograph, and the other side for something else (I couldn’t hear that part.) A lot of people waiting decided to leave at that point, but KPD and I decided to stay because the Kid really likes autographs.
KPD offers me his program to get signed but I tell him I have mine in my purse. I take it out along with a pen (just in case) and we wait for a while with a few other people who haven’t given up either.
Then Darren comes out in a Shakespearean costume with a cloak and lots of makeup on (which is odd, since White Rabbit, Red Rabbit isn’t rehearsed so there aren’t costumes) and he sees the people waiting and sighs. Obviously he thought he was done greeting fans and now there are a bunch of us waiting.
So I say, “It’s okay. If you’re tired, you should go. You don’t owe us anything.”
And he says, “No, I’ll sign.” And he takes my program and pen out of my hand and signs it and moves on to the next person.
I’m a little bit disappointed, because I had a request for a little note for the Kid, but obviously he’s being really nice so I say thank you and look at my program.
He has signed, using my ballpoint, the tiniest signature ever. “Mr. Criss” it says, but really small and faint. And then I realize it’s the program from Lin-Manuel’s show, because we didn’t actually SEE White Rabbit, Red Rabbit, because there weren’t any rush tickets, but KPD decided we should stick around anyway to see if we could get an autograph after the show. There’s other writing on the program.
Two notes: one says that I’m one of the first 2,000 subscribers and I can have a free ticket, and the other says that it’s a mistake and I can’t. And those notes are so much bigger than Darren’s autograph that you basically can’t find the autograph. And the notes are messy and annoying and for the wrong show, so I can’t even frame the autograph and I know that the Kid won’t even be able to see it and she’ll just make fun of me and I waited for nothing and my dad screwed up Lin-Manuel’s play and Darren Criss is annoyed at me for waiting when he just wanted to go home and I don’t have a free ticket to Lin-Manuel’s play even though I thought I did and why didn’t I just used KPD’s program and who brings a ball-point to a signing and where are my socks?