KPD: Meisner can hold his own, and we don’t know why, because we still don’t know what he is.
I’m not playing Pokemon Go. I’m not going to play Pokemon Go.
It’s not a judgement. KPD is playing, and last night the Kid found out about it, and we’ll see what she thinks. I’m a little worried about the data mining implications, but I think they’re patching that stuff, and honestly at this point the internet already knows everything about the Kid and about me and there’s very little I can do about that.
But you may have noticed that I tend to get obsessed with things.
*cough* Glee, much? *cough, cough*
I have exactly zero games on my phone. It’s not that I don’t enjoy Candy Crush. I play it frequently at home, and occasionally at the office when I’m feeling overwhelmed and my brain needs a five minute rest. But when I’m out, the only distractions I have on my phone (other than the phone itself–calls, texts, etc.) is audio. On my commute, which is mostly by bus with a significant amount of walking, I listen to podcasts most of the time, and music when I’m obsessed with music. (Hamilton earlier in the year, Glee now.) When I run, I listen to original cast recordings of musicals.
But none of that requires visual interaction once I get it started. Sure, like everyone, I struggle with texting or answering calls while driving. Can I let the text go? Do I need to pull over? What if I just type quickly while I’m at the stoplight? (I do NOT actually text while my vehicle is in motion.) My new car has a feature where I can voice dial and talk hands-free, and I use it occasionally, though it makes me anxious. Otherwise, I’m pretty strict about not using the phone while I’m driving. I will call while walking, but again, that doesn’t require my eyes. If I need to send a text while I’m out walking, I stop walking, because I’ll walk into something if I don’t.
In short, I’d be a complete hazard if I played Pokemon Go. And I’d never stop.
I admit that I’m obsessed with Glee at the moment. I also freely admit that I’m using it to avoid other things. The world is upsetting right now, and I don’t want to deal with it. On Glee, everything is resolved quickly and with a song. It’s pleasant.
But I don’t have Glee in my pocket. I can watch three episodes a night, or even an all-day marathon, but it’s not hurting anyone else. My family knows where I am. My Kid can watch with me if she’s so inclined. I don’t watch when I’m supposed to be working or sleeping. And if I need to stop, I can just go outside where there isn’t any Glee. Sure, I’ll keep thinking about Glee while I’m out there, probably, but walking away from the computer stops me from watching, and I can focus on the Kid’s swim meet or a conversation with my mother while I’m not watching.
A game that goes everywhere? I’d literally never stop. I’d be checking out of the corner of my eye all day at work to see if there was a Pokemon in my office. I’d walk into traffic. I’d miss the bus in the morning and go out hunting at lunch time.
So, y’all go out an have a good time. This is not something I can enjoy responsibly, so I’m going to responsibly refrain from enjoying it. If you need me, I’ll be on the couch watching Glee again.
I’ve been wanting to rewrite this scene since I saw it.
I can’t resist anymore.
Blaine: It’s such a relief to be able to tell you this now. I’m just glad I did it before my audition. What?
Kurt: You want to be a doctor?
Blaine: Maybe. I just don’t know if I’m cut out for show business.
Kurt: Let’s review your romantic life, shall we? [counts on fingers] You announced your first crush with a fully choreographed a cappella number in the Gap. You wooed me with duets.
Blaine: [smiles] I did woo you.
Kurt: You broke up with me – more or less – in a piano bar, with accompaniment. You seduced me back with another duet.
Blaine: You were seduced the moment you saw me in my tux.
Kurt: The duet sealed the deal. You celebrated our renewed relationship with a marching band–
Blaine: That was you!
Kurt: That was both of us. And your marriage proposal, which was amazing and, I’ll remind you, successful, required how many show choirs?
Blaine: I was making a point about gay marriage and working together–
Kurt: How many show choirs?
Blaine: And you are very hard to impress. I needed you to know how much I love you.
Kurt: I said yes. How many show choirs?
Blaine: [sheepishly] Four.
Kurt: Four show choirs backing up your very impressive, heartfelt, and very convincing solo. Blaine, these are not the actions of a future doctor. You have been a star since before I met you, and you are not meant to be a star only in a podunk town like Lima, Ohio. You’re going to take on the world, and the first step is your NYADA audition. I know it’s hard. I know you’re nervous. I had to do it three times. I know. But you’re going to kill it, and you’re going to move here and we’re going to live happily ever after.
Blaine: What if I don’t get in?
Kurt: Are you kidding? I go to that school. You’re as talented as anyone there, and more talented than most of them. But if for some reason you don’t get in, you’ll come here anyway and get a job until we figure things out. Together. Because I’m pretty sure that’s what you were asking me with the four show choirs, and I said yes, and now you’re stuck with me. And I’m going to keep pushing you until the whole world knows how amazing you are.
Blaine: Thanks for knowing me. I love you.
Kurt: I’m your fiance. It’s my job to make sure you never give up on yourself. And I think Santana should do your makeup.
This morning, I got an idea for a cross stitch. It’s been a while since that happened.
Okay, it’s Glee-related.
Okay, it’s Blaine-related. AND Warblers-related.
But still, it’s usually a good sign when I start making my own stuff that I’m starting to get the thing out of my system. Now if only KPD will put some design software on my computer so I can get the idea out of my mind and into my…
Sometimes my brain is so useless. I want to think about work. Or parenting. Or Doctor Who. But instead, my brain is writing analytic essays about Glee. But it has to go somewhere, so here it is. I hope you like it.
The other morning, I was listening to my Warblers album (which is awesome, by the way–you can get it here) which starts with “Teenage Dream,” of course.
Not for the first time, I was frustrated. Everyone loves to call Blaine (and Darren Criss) “Glee’s Teenage Dream,” but other than that, the song makes no sense. Blaine isn’t into Kurt yet when he sings the song. He doesn’t wear skinny jeans (even when he’s not wearing his uniform). It’s a great song, and I can see why it was the first Glee song to hit number 1 on the Billboard charts, and Criss does an amazing job singing it, but in terms of the lyrics, it just isn’t Blaine’s voice. Why is he singing it? Why did the writers squander this, the first entrance of a character who’s going to be so important, by making the only narrative purpose of the song be the title?
And then it hits me: the song isn’t what Blaine is thinking, it’s what Kurt is thinking. They didn’t squander anything. In fact, they used a brilliant musical theater tactic here. We know that Blaine is perfect for Kurt because he’s singing Kurt’s thoughts.
Then the next song comes on:
Hey, soul sister
Ain’t that Mister, Mister on the radio, stereo
The way you move ain’t fair you know
Hey, soul sister
I don’t want to miss a single thing you do
And indeed, the way Blaine moves ain’t fair at all. Kurt can’t compete, and he’s madly in love by this point. Again, he’s watching Blaine sing his thoughts. Kurt is beginning to become frustrated that Blaine gets all the solos, and at the same time, he can’t resist him. Again, it’s a perfect song to underscore the connection that’s forming between the two characters. We feel that Blaine is Kurt’s soul mate because the writers are showing us the connection between them.
“Baby It’s Cold Outside” isn’t on the Warblers album, but it perfectly exemplifies my theory. It’s Kurt and Blaine’s first duet, and in this song, they’re singing each other’s thoughts. Put aside the fact that it’s a classic song, they’ve taken the sexual harassment out of it by making it clearly a performance (thank goodness), and it’s a perfect arrangement (Blaine singing the high part at the end while Kurt goes lower? Gorgeous.) and you see that Blaine is singing the part of the seducer while Kurt is playing the oblivious one. At the end of the song, Blaine walks out without a care in the world, and Kurt tells Mr. Schuester that he’s at least happy he’s moved on to an unrequited crush on a gay boy, which is an improvement over Finn and Sam.
By the time “Bills, Bills, Bills” comes along, Kurt is more comfortable with the Warblers. He’s more comfortable with Blaine, too, and getting more resentful. Blaine is taking advantage of him and everyone else by hogging all the solos and taking all the glory from their combined sound, and Kurt’s not getting what he wants in return. He’s safe at Dalton Academy, but he’s singing less than he did in New Directions, and he’s not getting the kind of attention he wants from Blaine. Blaine’s singing about Kurt’s frustrations.
Watch this scene. Kurt’s head is about to explode. Blaine is singing out all his desires, to Jeremiah, who isn’t even enjoying it. Le sigh.
This one’s just cheating, because Kurt picked the song. But it still works. It’s a wonderful, innocent, happy song that perfectly exemplifies Kurt’s approach to love.
I’m not going to link to “Don’t You Want Me,” because it’s not The Warblers and it’s not Kurt and Blaine. But it IS Blaine, and also: duh.
I’m also skipping “Animal,” because it’s kind of an outlier. It doesn’t destroy my theory: Blaine is still singing the seductive parts. But the point of the song is that Kurt is uncomfortable being sexy, and he is. So it’s not really about Kurt’s feelings about Blaine, it’s about Kurt’s feelings about sex, which is somewhat different.
Ah, “Misery.” By this time, Kurt’s frustrations come to a boil. He doesn’t get to sing lead. Blaine has told him straight up that he’s not interested, and then he had the whole thing with Rachel, and then Kurt completely embarrassed himself with the sexy faces.
I am in misery
There ain’t nobody
Who can comfort me (Oh yeah)
Why won’t you answer me?
The silence is slowly killing me (Oh yeah)
At the end of the song, he finally confronts Blaine. He wants to sing. Or at least, he wants someone other than Blaine to have a chance at singing. And his complaint gets Blaine’s attention, as does the canary cage he bought for Pavarotti, the Warbler mascot. And also the fact that Kurt was completely ignoring Blaine while he was singing, which is a thing that only happens once. Literally. In five years, there is no other time when Kurt is immune to Blaine’s singing charms, even at his most furious.
Then Pavarotti has a stroke, and Kurt finally gets to sing Blaine’s thoughts for him, because they’re soul mates.
Yup. Blaine’s been waiting his whole life for this moment to arise. He makes that sound a lot more dramatic than the sixteen years it’s been with his pitch-perfect romantic speech to Kurt:
Anyway, after that, they turn to other interests in their singing, for the most part. “Candles” is really a song for Rachel and Finn, for example. But there is one other thing.
When Kurt and Blaine sing a love song (which they do way, way too infrequently), they split the same part. That’s friggin Shakespearean. Like Romeo and Juliet forming a sonnet with their first words to each other, Kurt and Blaine are in such accord that their love forms the same thoughts in both of them. Again, solid musical theater technique. I’m not going to post “American Boy” again, because I’ve got a whole post about that, (actually two) so here’s “Got to Get You Into My Life.”
Well, hopefully now that I’ve got that out of my head, I can move on to other things. We caught up on Doctor Who. We’re watching Cutthroat Kitchen. We’ve got tickets to Comic Con. So there’s plenty of other nerdy stuff to write about, if only my brain will let me. Stay tuned!
A co-worker enters my office. I am listening to music while I work.
“I like this song.”
“Is this a cover?”
She looks at me, really focuses on my face for a second, as if suddenly realizing where she is and who I am.
“Is this the Glee version?”
Spoiler: It was the Glee version.