Last one, I think.

I can’t find a video of the original scene, though, for some reason. Anyway, it’s the Blaine/Karofsky break up scene from Season 6. The episode is called “Transitioning.”

The scene goes something like this. Karofsky notes that Blaine has been acting strangely for a few days, and asks if anything happened at Rachel’s party. Blaine explains that he sang a duet with Kurt, and he kept it from Karofsky, but he’s not sure why. When Karofsky asks why he’d be jealous about a duet, Blaine gives him a meaningful look, and Karofskly figures out that they kissed, and that it was Blaine who kissed Kurt, and then he very gracefully bows out of their relationship, saying that he knew he couldn’t compete with Kurt and Blaine’s true love but he’s glad he had a few months with Blaine. And then he destroys all of our fondest hopes by asking Blaine to please say how he feels with words, not a song. Because evidently he hates the whole premise of Glee (but I digress.)

Now I get the message here. Ryan Murphy evidently believes in True Love, and that you can never really break up with your True Love no matter how hard you try. (Really upsetting news if you happen to be, say Lea Michele.) And so that’s the point he puts in David’s mouth: Kurt is your True Love, you two were Meant to Be, and there is no way I could ever compete with that, so I’ll go find my True Love and let you be with yours.

But I thought it would be more interesting if Glee actually built on the history that exists among these three characters. It’s a complex and interesting history, and if they had fleshed it out just a tiny bit, Season 6 would have been so much more believable and the relationship between Blaine and David would have been so much less creepy. And maybe I could look at this photo without my stomach turning:


Aaaah! Season 6 PTSD! Also, they’re at the Playboy Mansion, in their pajamas. I thought all of these guys were feminists.

Okay, so maybe my dedicated feminist stomach would still turn. Anyway, here’s how I would have written the scene:

David: Are you okay? You’ve been acting strangely for days. Did something happen at Rachel’s party last night?

Blaine: [sigh] I sang a duet with Kurt. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you about it.

David: Why would I be jealous of a song? Are you jealous of my football friends? You guys are constantly singing something or other.

Blaine: [meaningful look]

David: Oh.

Blaine: I’m really sorry. It’s just–

David: No, I get it. I mean, it’s Kurt.

Blaine: What does that mean?

David: If he had come for me, I don’t think I would have lasted as long.

Blaine: What?

David: Oh, come on, Blaine. You’re a great guy, you’re hot as Hell, and I love you, but since when are you into bears?

Blaine: Well, I’ve seen your ex-boyfriends. Since when are you into–[gestures at himself]

David: Insanely hot guys who are charming and smart and also rich and kind and romantic?

Blaine: I’m…short.

David: I wasn’t about to complain while you wanted to stay with me, but face facts: the only thing we have in common is the one thing we’ve always had in common: Kurt.

Blaine: You mean because he helped you out after your suicide attempt?

David: Didn’t he tell you about the time I spent a whole week being his secret admirer?

Blaine: I mean, yeah, but you were confused. You were still in the closet, mostly. How many out guys did you know? Kurt was nice to you, and…

David: Is that why you fell in love with Kurt? I told myself that I hated him because he walked around acting like being gay was just fine. I mean, the guy embraces all the things that people hate us for: he’s got the high voice, the performing, the fashion, all his friends are girls, he sings Beyonce and Madonna, and he walked around that high school like everyone should just love him for it. And somehow, he just charms the hell out of you while he’s doing it.

Blaine: Yeah…

David: I know he thinks I “hate-kissed” him. And I’m not saying what I did was okay. I was terrorizing him and that kiss was a huge violation, I get it. And I’ll always be ashamed of the way I treated him. But for me that kiss was the only honest moment of that whole year. I shoved him because it was the only way I could touch him and I wanted to touch him so damned badly because he’s just so…well…you get it.

Blaine: So damned Kurt.

David: Yeah. What I’m saying is, I know what it’s like to be in love with Kurt Hummel. And you got to be loved back, because you were so much braver than I was. He came back to Lima for you. You’re not angry anymore, and you don’t know how much longer he’ll wait. Go.

Blaine: I–

David: Go tell him. I mean it. And this time, don’t give up so easily. Trust me, there’s nobody else like him. I’ve checked.

Blaine: Thank you. Are you going to be okay?

David: I’m going to be fine. Go find the love of your life.

Then Blaine runs to the choir room where Kurt is getting ready for a date on a Saturday night because teachers live at school, and Walter isn’t there yet, so Blaine makes one of his awesome, impassioned, romantic comedy speeches about how he doesn’t know what he was doing with David because he’s always loved Kurt and he’ll always love Kurt and singing with him made him realize that (and it includes the sentence, “Anyway, since when am I into bears?”), and then Walter walks in and says, “Kurt, are you ready to go?” and either Kurt says, “I have a date,” and the episode ends the way it did and then the next episode makes sense, because Kurt knows that Blaine and David broke up and he just needed a minute to think, or Walter doesn’t see Blaine and the episode ends with Kurt looking back and forth between them, and then the next episode could start with one of the following:

  1. Be all suspenseful like in “I do” and just show them together at the wedding. It doesn’t have to be like this scene, in fact it wouldn’t be at all like this scene, but I’m including this clip to cleanse your palate of the pic I posted above:
  2. Open the episode with Kurt and Blaine waking up together, to the full-throated cheering of all of America.
  3. Open the episode the way they did, but then make Kurt’s speech a little better and again, have it make sense because he knows Blaine is available.

Why didn’t you call me, Ryan Murphy? I could have fixed everything.