I’m not playing Pokemon Go. I’m not going to play Pokemon Go.

It’s not a judgement. KPD is playing, and last night the Kid found out about it, and we’ll see what she thinks. I’m a little worried about the data mining implications, but I think they’re patching that stuff, and honestly at this point the internet already knows everything about the Kid and about me and there’s very little I can do about that.

But you may have noticed that I tend to get obsessed with things.

*cough* Glee, much? *cough, cough*

I have exactly zero games on my phone. It’s not that I don’t enjoy Candy Crush. I play it frequently at home, and occasionally at the office when I’m feeling overwhelmed and my brain needs a five minute rest. But when I’m out, the only distractions I have on my phone (other than the phone itself–calls, texts, etc.) is audio. On my commute, which is mostly by bus with a significant amount of walking, I listen to podcasts most of the time, and music when I’m obsessed with music. (Hamilton earlier in the year, Glee now.) When I run, I listen to original cast recordings of musicals.

But none of that requires visual interaction once I get it started. Sure, like everyone, I struggle with texting or answering calls while driving. Can I let the text go? Do I need to pull over? What if I just type quickly while I’m at the stoplight? (I do NOT actually text while my vehicle is in motion.) My new car has a feature where I can voice dial and talk hands-free, and I use it occasionally, though it makes me anxious. Otherwise, I’m pretty strict about not using the phone while I’m driving. I will call while walking, but again, that doesn’t require my eyes. If I need to send a text while I’m out walking, I stop walking, because I’ll walk into something if I don’t.

In short, I’d be a complete hazard if I played Pokemon Go. And I’d never stop.

I admit that I’m obsessed with Glee at the moment. I also freely admit that I’m using it to avoid other things. The world is upsetting right now, and I don’t want to deal with it. On Glee, everything is resolved quickly and with a song. It’s pleasant.

But I don’t have Glee in my pocket. I can watch three episodes a night, or even an all-day marathon, but it’s not hurting anyone else. My family knows where I am. My Kid can watch with me if she’s so inclined. I don’t watch when I’m supposed to be working or sleeping. And if I need to stop, I can just go outside where there isn’t any Glee. Sure, I’ll keep thinking about Glee while I’m out there, probably, but walking away from the computer stops me from watching, and I can focus on the Kid’s swim meet or a conversation with my mother while I’m not watching.

A game that goes everywhere? I’d literally never stop. I’d be checking out of the corner of my eye all day at work to see if there was a Pokemon in my office. I’d walk into traffic. I’d miss the bus in the morning and go out hunting at lunch time.

So, y’all go out an have a good time. This is not something I can enjoy responsibly, so I’m going to responsibly refrain from enjoying it. If you need me, I’ll be on the couch watching Glee again.